Yesterday the Girl was cross and cranky because Mr. Facebook kept telling her about a site where she could get a Free Tarot Card Reading, and she is Not Interested in Tarot Card readings, Free or otherwise.
[Editorial Note: I was not cross and cranky; I simply wondered aloud, in a manner most civil, why anyone would think I might be interested in a tarot reading. Sorry, I refuse to capitalise it, unlike Murphy, who has gone completely overboard with captials today.]
“Is a Tarot Card Reading the same as telling your fortune?” I asked.
“Hmm, well, kind of, it’s complicated,” she said. That’s what she says when she doesn’t know for sure.
“Look,” I offered, “I’ll tell your fortune for you, without any cards at all. Wouldn’t that be better?”
“Don’t be silly, Murphy,” came the response. “You have no fortune-telling ability.”
“My dear Girl!” I laughed. “Of course I have! I can tell you, right here and now, three things that are going to happen to you today!”
“Three things, Murphy? Okay then, go on. But they must be things that don’t happen every day. Anyone can predict that I’ll eat dinner and brush my teeth.”
“Number One,” I said, “you are going to help your wonderful dog, Murphy, the Writer, with a blog post. You don’t do that every day.”
“Hmm, well, okay… I might. Go on.”
“Number Two: You will take your lovely dog, Murphy, for a long walk, then when you come home you will give him lots of water to slake his thirst. Then you will give him at least two dog biscuits. And then you will give him a lovely fresh bone.”
“It’s not the day for a fresh bone, Murphy,” she said. “And this seems to be more about you than about me. So what’s number three?”
“Ah, Number Three. I foretell that very shortly now you’re going to get Facebook messages and blog comments from people telling you what is the difference between Tarot Card Reading and fortune telling.”
That was this morning.
We’ve been to the park for a walk; I got loads of water and two biscuits (meanie wouldn’t go any higher); and the blog post is done. The Girl is rooting in the fridge, and I suspect a bone is on its yummy way. And any minute now Number Three is going to happen.
I should go into business as a fortune teller. It’s pretty easy, really.